Well, besides the fact that I almost forget about this blog…

I hate when I’m left alone to myself, with my laptop on my lap, a house phone sitting next to me, and music playing dramatically in the background as I write this. When I’m left alone, I start thinking. I start thinking about everything in the world that makes me upset. I just sat and thought about someone who used to be the reason I woke up smiling in the morning and the reason I stayed up so late. I was just thinking about how much I’d like to pick up the phone and call them. But when I do, they never answer anymore. I was thinking, “do they even think of me anymore”? It’s 3:10am and I’m thinking about someone who probably hasn’t thought about me in months or so. 

Just thought I’d share. 

I don’t wanna think about you. I don’t want to remember what it felt like to be yours because now, you’re gone. I don’t want to remember how you said you’d be there for me because now, you’re not. I still pray to God that maybe, just maybe, you’ll tell me that I was on your mind for a split second. This is foolish but, I wish I hadn’t met you. I wish I hadn’t fallen for someone who would leave. I know that not everyone can stick around, but, why you? I don’t wake up smiling. I wake up wishing that just maybe you’ll come back. Are you even alive anymore? Where the hell are you? So much for being a call away. I feel like you’re in another dimension and there’s no way for me to ever reach you. This may be corny, but when you left, a part of me went with you. My days aren’t rainbows and unicorns. Not even close. My days are miserable because I miss you. I miss you so much that it’s wearing me out. 

Come back.

Oh, hi. It’s 2:25am and I was just thinking about you. I was thinking about what we used to be, of course. I was thinking about how it felt to know that I was going to talk to you. I was thinking about how it felt to go to bed smiling and wake up smiling just the same. The world stood still whenever we talked. It felt great to know that I was the last thing on your mind before you went to bed. You were mine, and I was yours. 

You’re nowhere to be found now. I’m lost. 

It’s a two-way street. It works both ways. If I can take a few minutes out of my time to say hello and try to talk to you, what makes you think you can’t do the same? It’s annoying to hear, “I miss you” and yet I know that you never even tried to  get in contact with me. Does that make sense to you? Because it sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me. 

Hearing your voice beats reading something you typed out. Sensing the possibility that you’re smiling on the other end is better than a smiley face. Texting has gotten so popular that no one even wants to talk on the phone. No one has time for it. Excuse me for being old school. I just wish people talked on the phone more is all.